Parenting
No worries. Yeah, right.
I’m not much of a worrywart. Or so I thought.
I co-lead a small group for middle school girls on Monday nights. I don’t prepare the lesson, so I’m not sure I should be called a leader. Mostly, I’m there to be another adult presence in the room and to build relationships with the students in our youth group.
The true leader of the group prepared a lesson on worry for the girls. She encouraged them to journal a list of things they’re prone to worry about. Turning open our Bibles, we read passages that speak directly to the subject. Her definition of worry went beyond the notions of anxiety or fear. She expanded it to ‘taking responsibilty for something we’re not meant to be in charge of.’ Read More
In my hand
They were so little.
I watched my daughters, mere toddlers, playing near each other in the family room on the carpet, each with a toy of her choosing.
My youngest asked my eldest for the bauble she was currently enjoying. This was an unwelcome request, so eldest daughter searched the sprawl of toys in orbit around her. She selected one and handed it ever so sweetly to her younger sister. One might expect me to have been proud at that moment, delighting in the so-called sharing that had just taken place.
But I wasn’t. Read More
Tally Marks
“Because I’ve made too many mistakes.”
This was the raw response that fell from my child’s lips earlier this week. Sin had reared its ugly head in our relationship and the requisite consequences followed suit. Tears fell. The whole relational exchange was very normal (perhaps less than desirable, but normal)… up until that point. Listening as my child walked away, I overheard a disconcerting, caustic cluster of negative self-talk. Read More
Rhythms
Summer vacation: excitement or dread?
Water Gun Fun. Copyright Holmberg 2009. All Rights Reserved.
School’s out in our neck o’ the woods. That means my carefully crafted schedule has been turned on its ear. No more neatly slated, color-coded Outlook appointments. Gone are the large chunks of time allotted for writing… something I apparently can only accomplish in blocks that exceed 120 minutes.
For many parents, the summer is a mixed bag, a combination of relief from monitoring homework coupled with a disdain for the unstructured time that seems to drive our kids to a screen or the pantry. Read More
The Race
She had one goal.
After the first meet of the season, my daughter had just one goal: to run the 1600M in less than six minutes. Despite her diligent efforts in practice and pushing herself at meets, the closest she got was 6:00.34. Those fractions of a second (!) were frustrating to her but the time still qualified for the middle school district meet.
The runners lined up for the race, tense and leaning in. I knew the girls on either side of my gal were also the top competitors from their respective schools. Gunsmoke signaled the last race of the season was underway. As the pack thinned and the girls found their own rhythms, I watched my daughter settle into her stride, praying silently that she’d reach her goal in the coming minutes. Read More
His Alone
Two sports. Same season. Vastly different results.
My daughter has been playing basketball in a non-school league, as mentioned in On the Court: Part I and Part II. During exactly the same timeframe, she’s also been competing on her school’s track team. In terms of success, the two experiences have been diametrically different.
In track, she’s been her team’s lead female runner in the 1600M, earning the highest place for the school in each meet even if she didn’t win. On the basketball court, however, her team has suffered excruciating losses, logging 30 and 50 point deficits with nary a win for the entire season. Read More
Falling Fresh
She seemed glazed and disconnected.
As I sat on the edge of her bed, my daughter expressed a lack of desire to spend time in Sunday school, youth group and even small group. Her complaint: boredom.
The same stories.
The same lessons.
The same characters.
Yawn.
She’s right. We read the same passages over and over again. Paul starts to sound like that friend from high school who insists on recounting his adolescent antics at every reunion. The mere mention of Mary and Martha’s disagreement makes me want to go clean my refrigerator. We must have heard the account of Jesus feeding the 5000 once for every person He fed that day. Read More
On the Court: Part II
The faith illustration didn’t stop there for me, however.
The coach’s instruction, audible to those listening intently, was one simple word: “Doubles.” The girls immediately shifted their defensive strategy and double-teamed their tall, ball-carrying opponent.
We’re not meant to go through life alone.
Especially when facing challenges or a powerful adversary. God calls us to a strategy of ‘doubles.’ Read More
Rejected
My skin isn’t thick enough.
Because I’m in my early 40’s you might expect me to have the emotional capacity to shrug off feelings of rejection. But I don’t. At least not all the time. A series of events colluded against my heart over the last few weeks:
- I’ve recently tumbled down the list of people whose opinion matters to my teenage daughter. Developmentally normal, I know, but I still feel the loss of her esteem.
- A heart-felt, oft-expressed invitation to come visit us was again turned down; our family’s hopes of sharing special time with people we love were dashed.
- Several of my children have experienced isolation from their peers, in some cases for their faith. My mother-heart feels their pain as my own.
- Our Easter Sunday was spent without the fellowship of friends or family. Read More
Faithful and Just
He had lied. I gently confronted him in a moment of vulnerability and he confessed.
The topic of my son’s lie is essentially irrelevant — most children lie at some point, which means that many of you can relate to a parent’s perspective without my detailing it here.
Earlier in the day, my husband quizzed him about something we suspected he’d done and was met with vehement denial. When I later inquired again, his eyes fell and a quiet confession escaped his lips. We squared the issue and I encouraged him to apologize to his father for the layer of deceit. Read More