In my hand
They were so little.
I watched my daughters, mere toddlers, playing near each other in the family room on the carpet, each with a toy of her choosing.
My youngest asked my eldest for the bauble she was currently enjoying. This was an unwelcome request, so eldest daughter searched the sprawl of toys in orbit around her. She selected one and handed it ever so sweetly to her younger sister. One might expect me to have been proud at that moment, delighting in the so-called sharing that had just taken place.
But I wasn’t.
While my youngest daughter was pacified by this new diversion (surprisingly), I couldn’t rejoice in it because my oldest had withheld from her sister the one thing she’d requested. True, there was peace. For the moment, anyway. But the condition of the heart was quite revealing. Even at such a young age, the sin-nature was present, masked with a thin veneer of good works.
How often do we give to the Lord something of our choosing instead of what He asks?
The Bible instructs how to give: generously (Deuteronomy 15:10, Proverbs 22:9), to the poor (Matthew 6:3,4), to everyone who asks (Luke 6:30), cheerfully (2 Corinthians 9:6-8), and to meet the needs of those around us (James 2:15,16, Acts 4:32). What’s more, it speaks against withholding:
All day long [the sluggard] craves and craves,
but the righteous gives and does not hold back.
— Proverbs 21:16 ESVDo not withhold good from those to whom it is due,
when it is in your power to do it.
— Proverbs 3:27 ESV
In those terms, I’m think I’m guilty of keeping the toy I want to continue to play with, no more mature than a toddler. It’s tempting to give to God only what I am happy to give, selected carefully from the array of wealth I sit in the midst of everyday. I’m even conniving enough to veil my selfishness in regularly written checks and occasional generosity toward a man by the side of the road.
But if He asks for that which is in my hand, I must be prepared to give it.
If I’m honest, I’m not sure I am.
“God doesn’t look at just what we give. He also looks at what we keep.”
— Randy Alcorn
Ooh, what a good quote by Randy Alcorn. And a good thought too, Kirsten. I wish I was, but I’m not sure I’m prepared to give everything I hold dear.
Indeed, Susan. You’re not the only one!
Ooh, what a good quote by Randy Alcorn. And a good thought too, Kirsten. I wish I was, but I’m not sure I’m prepared to give everything I hold dear.
Indeed, Susan. You’re not the only one!
Ooh, what a good quote by Randy Alcorn. And a good thought too, Kirsten. I wish I was, but I’m not sure I’m prepared to give everything I hold dear.
Indeed, Susan. You’re not the only one!
Ooh, what a good quote by Randy Alcorn. And a good thought too, Kirsten. I wish I was, but I’m not sure I’m prepared to give everything I hold dear.
Indeed, Susan. You’re not the only one!
too too true.
there is a corollary i call “repenting of the wrong sin.”
we feel guilt/convicted. we want/need to repent of something. we want catharsis.
so we repent of something. usually tangentially related, but often not even a “sin”, and certainly not the sin God is after.
how many people in a “trainwreck” moment of life have told me they need to “get back to church”? in fact their proud heart is alive and well under the wreckage. unyeilded, unbent, unrepentant.
It’s Screwtape “spin control.” distracting. devious. Diabolical.
the heart is desperately wicked above all things, who can know it?
There is only One who can be trusted to bring true conviction of sin, Righteousness, and judgement to come.
Yes, Ethan. Yes. How painful to realize that our hearts can so deceive us into thinking we’re doing good or, as you pointed out, even repenting of the wrong ‘sin’ to assuage our guilt — but only in our own minds. Thanks for taking the time to read — and comment!
too too true.
there is a corollary i call “repenting of the wrong sin.”
we feel guilt/convicted. we want/need to repent of something. we want catharsis.
so we repent of something. usually tangentially related, but often not even a “sin”, and certainly not the sin God is after.
how many people in a “trainwreck” moment of life have told me they need to “get back to church”? in fact their proud heart is alive and well under the wreckage. unyeilded, unbent, unrepentant.
It’s Screwtape “spin control.” distracting. devious. Diabolical.
the heart is desperately wicked above all things, who can know it?
There is only One who can be trusted to bring true conviction of sin, Righteousness, and judgement to come.
Yes, Ethan. Yes. How painful to realize that our hearts can so deceive us into thinking we’re doing good or, as you pointed out, even repenting of the wrong ‘sin’ to assuage our guilt — but only in our own minds. Thanks for taking the time to read — and comment!
Wow–this is so good. I need to come to Him with this. Thank you, friend.
Wow–this is so good. I need to come to Him with this. Thank you, friend.
Thanks, Jennifer. That’s all we can do — simply go to Him. 🙂
Wow–this is so good. I need to come to Him with this. Thank you, friend.
Thanks, Jennifer. That’s all we can do — simply go to Him. 🙂