Service
Backpacks or burdens: when to ask for (and give) help—and when not to?
For most people I know, asking for help is one of the most difficult things to do. Some of that challenge is particularly American: we were raised on the notion of “rugged individualism.”
Some of it’s also a lack of humility: we don’t like admitting our inability to do something (especially if we believe it is our responsibility).
And sometimes it’s because we’re sensitive to asking for too much from others—perhaps because we ourselves have been presumed upon by someone else in the past.
Conversely, it’s also difficult to know when one should not help, as in the case of enabling something unhealthy for another person or when doing so is to one’s own detriment.
The Bible is replete with verses teaching us to help others. One passage presents what at first seems to be a set of self-contradictory statements:
Read MoreWhen someone imposes on you unfairly
Her comment took my breath away.
I sat in a circle amongst a team of people who—for years—gave their time and talent to lead a local branch of an international ministry. The hours we invested every week in personal study, phone calls, leadership meetings, and the actual ministry activities were many. We all counted them a joy and privilege, a way to serve God and His people with the gifts He’d given us.
And then, one day, I surfaced a challenge to our team. I’d been, in my eyes anyway, mistreated and imposed upon unnecessarily by one of the people we served. I wanted my fellow leaders’ consolation and commiseration. I wanted them to validate my injured feelings and defend me, saying how much I didn’t deserve that treatment… how wrong that other person was.
Which is why her comment was so jarring to me—it was so different than what I wanted:
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