When someone imposes on you unfairly

Her comment took my breath away.

I sat in a circle amongst a team of people who—for years—gave their time and talent to lead a local branch of an international ministry. The hours we invested every week in personal study, phone calls, leadership meetings, and the actual ministry activities were many. We all counted them a joy and privilege, a way to serve God and His people with the gifts He’d given us.

And then, one day, I surfaced a challenge to our team. I’d been, in my eyes anyway, mistreated and imposed upon unnecessarily by one of the people we served. I wanted my fellow leaders’ consolation and commiseration. I wanted them to validate my injured feelings and defend me, saying how much I didn’t deserve that treatment… how wrong that other person was.

Which is why her comment was so jarring to me—it was so different than what I wanted:

“You’ll know whether you have a servant’s heart when someone treats you like one.”

Ouch.

Those weren’t the words I wanted.

But they were the words I needed.

I needed them because they brought me low, inviting me to a posture of humility. It was my pride that was injured; I felt entitled to better treatment because of my willingness to serve. My reaction to those words confronted me with the uncomfortable truth that somewhere along the way I’d ceased to serve God and others and had begun to serve myself.

I looked to the Cross for the ultimate example of servanthood.

Jesus–God incarnate–was entitled to our highest praise.

Yet we, collectively, treated Him like a “servant” in the least humane way recorded in all of history. He was betrayed by a (so-called) friend. Tried illegally. Spat on and beaten. Disowned by another friend. Flogged. Mocked. And subjected to an incomparably painful death by crucifixion.

All this was done to our Savior. The gravest injustice was committed against an unblemished, perfect, innocent, undeserving Servant.

When we find ourselves frustrated by the impositions we experience at the hands of our bosses, neighbors, spouses, and children—perhaps the lack of gratitude for our efforts or being delegated a task we disdain—may we look to the example of our Suffering Servant who humbled Himself to death on the cross.

Whatever injustice we encounter undoubtedly pales in comparison to His. But instead of merely comparing, I’d suggest that in those moments we turn to Him, pausing to acknowledge and truly appreciate His willingness to serve us so selflessly.

Because in those moments when we’re feeling imposed upon, we are nearest to understanding how very much He loves us to endure such injustice. Perhaps then, once again, we will be eager to serve Him by serving others as an act of adoration and worship (Matthew 25:40).


Please note: I am not suggesting we allow ourselves to be abused in any way, shape or form. If you’re looking for resources to help you navigate such distress, please ask for help. For Biblical thought on these difficult subjects, tap into the Discovery Series library and check out the book Boundaries.