Faith
Rejected
My skin isn’t thick enough.
Because I’m in my early 40’s you might expect me to have the emotional capacity to shrug off feelings of rejection. But I don’t. At least not all the time. A series of events colluded against my heart over the last few weeks:
- I’ve recently tumbled down the list of people whose opinion matters to my teenage daughter. Developmentally normal, I know, but I still feel the loss of her esteem.
- A heart-felt, oft-expressed invitation to come visit us was again turned down; our family’s hopes of sharing special time with people we love were dashed.
- Several of my children have experienced isolation from their peers, in some cases for their faith. My mother-heart feels their pain as my own.
- Our Easter Sunday was spent without the fellowship of friends or family. Read More
First Light
I wasn’t sure I liked what it said.
My pastor suggested reading Psalm 63 as a daily practice during Lent. I embarked on it with anticipation, certain that I’d have the whole thing memorized by Easter just from reading it consistently. Day in and day out, I was pricked by just the first verse, the first few words:
You, God, are my God,
earnestly I seek you;
— Psalm 63:1a NIV
The word earnestly was my sticking point. It seemed to be the critical word in the sentence and yet I was uncertain of its intended meaning. Read More
Before Joy
As Christians who live in light of our Messiah’s resurrection, I think we often gloss over all that the Lord endured in the days between Palm Sunday and Easter. While Jesus’ redeeming sacrifice on the cross is difficult to meditate on, such awareness is necessary in order to appreciate the incomparable cost. I encourage you to join me in taking a cue from the Jewish Passover celebration as a way to do just that — see what I mean by reading last year’s Maundy Thursday post here: The Cup of Deliverance.
For the joy set before him [Jesus] endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God.
— Hebrews 12:2b NIV
$12,000 Attitude Adjustment
A $12,000 royalty check from book sales.
Not my book, mind you. Not my check. This royalty check went to author Patrick Wensink, whose book was an Amazon best seller last year. While a sizable sum, it puts him right at the poverty line for annual earnings, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. He shared the fiscal details of an author’s plight in an article last week. Ironically, the article posted on the same day I met with my tax advisor — the day I confronted my own meager earnings from 2012.
When I later read the article, it served only to spiral me further down into the depths of discouragement. If his earnings were so insubstantial even after time spent at the ‘top’, what chance do I have of contributing to my household income as a writer and speaker? The only thing lower than my book’s Amazon ranking was my spirits: Read More
Singing Unhindered (Why we should sing in church)
This kind of embarrassment went way beyond the social undoing caused by wearing the collar of your polo shirt the wrong way in the early 1980’s.
It was the beginning of a new quarter. I dutifully arrived in the choir classroom for the first day of the required class. I’d already completed the other 7th grade required quarters of shop, home economics, and art.
Familiar with piano after several years of lessons, I understood what she meant when she instructed the class to sing back the arpeggio she would play for each individual. This was, apparently, the means by which she would determine vocal range and placement in the choir. Read More
Faithful and Just
He had lied. I gently confronted him in a moment of vulnerability and he confessed.
The topic of my son’s lie is essentially irrelevant — most children lie at some point, which means that many of you can relate to a parent’s perspective without my detailing it here.
Earlier in the day, my husband quizzed him about something we suspected he’d done and was met with vehement denial. When I later inquired again, his eyes fell and a quiet confession escaped his lips. We squared the issue and I encouraged him to apologize to his father for the layer of deceit. Read More
Indebtedness
I just wanted to be nice.
I had the ability to give a small gift and I wanted to do something for them. My daughter was going to be in the dentist’s chair for an hour, so I had both the time and, fortunately, the money for a run to the coffee shop. So I offered to treat the office staff to an afternoon indulgence. They were eager for lattes, but misunderstood my desire to pay. All three opened their wallets, counting out the bills and jotting their orders on yellow sticky notes. I protested, reiterating my offer. They hemmed and hawed, reluctant to permit me the pleasure of giving. Read More
From Wallowing to Following
As I woke to yet another round of snow heaped all over the driveway, patio and sidewalk, I knew what my afternoon’s activity would be: shoveling.
This was a beautiful blanket. Probably four inches worth of sticky, thick snow. I leaned into the task and mucked my way toward the curb. I began with gusto, enthusiastic (almost) for the opportunity for exercise that didn’t involve a gym or a video. I paused occasionally to enjoy the sunshine and the sound of water dripping off the roof.
Eventually my pauses became more frequent; I grew tired. My mood sloped downhill with my driveway. Pretty soon, I was standing in the gutter, both physically and mentally. Read More
All They Asked
Paul says it was all Peter, James and John asked of him.
Galatians 2:10 caught my eye in a completely new way when I read it last week. This little gem was tucked away and I almost missed it in the midst of Paul’s defense. We’ll get there in just a moment… Read More
Dollars, Pounds and Resolutions
Like many of you, I’ve been reflecting on the last year and setting my sights on the next, waxing philosophical about my life and how I can improve it and myself. Through resolve. Are any of these common new year’s resolutions on your mind?
Weigh less. Exercise more. Eat better.
Work less. Work harder. Achieve more.
Spend less. Pay off debt. Save more.
Some of them are on my list, too. And I love lists. To wrangle the chaos of life into neatly bulletized lineups gives me the perceived control that evades me in reality.
Read More