Where else can I go?
Following God is anything but easy.
Every day seems to bring news of tragic events. In recent days, it’s struck closer to my circles in the forms of the kidnapping and murder of an elementary student, and the suicide of an eighth grader. I looked at my own eighth grader through tear-filled eyes, thankful for her every breath. I recalled the scare we had this time last year with my younger daughter and was moved again to gratitude. The happenings of the last week have touched me deeply because of their proximity, but injustices the world over paralyze me with their enormity and pervasiveness. Evil seems rampant and I’m tempted to question both the goodness and power of God.
But I’ve been down that road before. At the ripe age of 9, I determined to have nothing to do with the One who had the power to heal my father but didn’t. I made good on that promise for more than a decade, living out my anger at God in all kinds of destructive ways.
(c) Kirsten Holmberg 2012
There are no easy answers to the why questions in the midst of such painful and horrific circumstances. It would be an insult to try to offer any, and they’d smack of Christian platitudes. So where can I find hope in these moments? How will I live in the light of my faith when surrounded by such darkness?
When confronted with the challenges of living out their faith, many disciples deserted Christ (John 6:60-70). Jesus then asked the twelve if they, too, would abandon their faith in Him. It’s Peter’s reply that heartens me:
“Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.”
— John 6:68 NIV (excerpted)
Where else can I go but to God?
The decision to flee God in anger and fear simply pushed me deeper into the same anger and fear. Only once I turned and instead pressed into Him did I begin to experience healing in the darkest and most raw places in my life. Over time, He has allowed me to see the ways He has redeemed that pain. This is why I put my hope in Romans 8:28. What He has permitted, I must trust He will redeem.
I may never understand why He allowed these things to happen to me, or why even worse things happen to others. His redemption of them brings me hope, but not comprehension. All I know is that I don’t want to face them without God.
Kirsten, what a beautiful, heartfelt response to the “whys” of life. I loved your closing lines, with the tie-in to Peter’s response. Yes, he is our only hope and the enemy wants so terribly to shake the foundations of our faith with his evil. I too, find myself paralyzed at times, and never want to let go of my children. It’s tempting to live in fear over what they may become exposed to, or who might “win” their hearts and minds. Instead, we pray and we trust in God’s perfectly complex plan. But again, as you stated, it doesn’t make it easier. But would we have it any other way? Where else can we run but into the loving arms of the Father, who weeps with us and deeply feels our pain. I’m thankful he never once leaves us.
Kirsten, what a beautiful, heartfelt response to the “whys” of life. I loved your closing lines, with the tie-in to Peter’s response. Yes, he is our only hope and the enemy wants so terribly to shake the foundations of our faith with his evil. I too, find myself paralyzed at times, and never want to let go of my children. It’s tempting to live in fear over what they may become exposed to, or who might “win” their hearts and minds. Instead, we pray and we trust in God’s perfectly complex plan. But again, as you stated, it doesn’t make it easier. But would we have it any other way? Where else can we run but into the loving arms of the Father, who weeps with us and deeply feels our pain. I’m thankful he never once leaves us.
Thankful He never leaves us, indeed. We have no need to fear with that Truth in our minds. Thanks, Jeannette!
Kirsten,
This is one of those ‘elephants in the room’ so to speak, esp. for non-Christians . . . and Christians. I appreciate your statement: “What He has permitted, I must trust He will redeem.” I have certainly experienced this in my own depth of pain. Sometimes, the raw places are the ones that can heal our soul.
Much Love, Hester
Kirsten,
This is one of those ‘elephants in the room’ so to speak, esp. for non-Christians . . . and Christians. I appreciate your statement: “What He has permitted, I must trust He will redeem.” I have certainly experienced this in my own depth of pain. Sometimes, the raw places are the ones that can heal our soul.
Much Love, Hester
Kirsten,
This is one of those ‘elephants in the room’ so to speak, esp. for non-Christians . . . and Christians. I appreciate your statement: “What He has permitted, I must trust He will redeem.” I have certainly experienced this in my own depth of pain. Sometimes, the raw places are the ones that can heal our soul.
Much Love, Hester
Beautiful, Kir. Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing this one today…
Beautiful, Kir. Just beautiful. Thanks for sharing this one today…
Especially love the ending paragraph of this, not just for today’s tragedy, but for countless others. Thanks for your (reposted) words, friend.
Especially love the ending paragraph of this, not just for today’s tragedy, but for countless others. Thanks for your (reposted) words, friend.
Especially love the ending paragraph of this, not just for today’s tragedy, but for countless others. Thanks for your (reposted) words, friend.