Jealousy, Scars, and Forgiveness

Everybody was happy. At least they should have been. Surrounded by food and friends, there was no cause for complaint. Except that there were siblings involved. My child became frustrated by the intrusion on time she preferred to share exclusively with her chum. Tears flowed; accusations were hurled. As a result, our time was cut short.

Once home, we talked.  Accounts were reconciled.  But the shame lingered in the heart of the offender.  Together, we sat entwined in a chair as she cried.  My heartache over the offenses were eased by her open admission and confession of the root of the problem:  she had been jealous.

I’ve been reminded through my recent study of the Bible that God doesn’t anticipate we will live perfectly.  Rather, He presses us to acknowledge our failures, to accept His grace and forgiveness, and to strive to honor Him.

We prayed together, asking for that forgiveness, and I was nearly crippled by the way she buried her face in my body – a reflection of that shame. I couldn’t help but think of Adam and Eve as they hid in the Garden, knowing I do the same.

Afterwards, as I sat with her, face to face, as she was finally able to raise hers after receiving God’s gift of grace.  I wiped tears from her cheeks.  She searched my eyes and found my grace, too.  Still looking at me, she suddenly noted a scar on my face, near my nose. She asked what it came from, to which I honestly and ironically replied, “Jealousy.” I recounted the story of when I’d taken my sister’s coveted toy.  I had attempted a get-away, became ensnared by the toy’s pull-string, tripped and fell, cutting open my face.

How good of God to use my physical scar for His purposes. How lovely that though I bear the mark of my sin, my Savior bore the consequences. I don’t have to hide my scarred face, instead He lovingly lifts my chin with His scarred hands and says, “I forgive you.”

Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith.  –Hebrews 12:1,2a