In the dark. But never alone.

The night must have seemed exceptionally dark.

In Genesis 32, we find  Jacob fleeing his uncle Laban and returning to his homeland to face the brother he’d deceived many years prior. He was fearful of this fated reunion, dividing his family and property into groups to prevent losing them all if Esau attacked (Genesis 32:7, 8).

The night before the two shall meet, Jacob separates himself from his family. In the dark of the night he wrestles with a man — who turns out to be God in an angelic, physical body — until the break of day. Jacob’s dark and sleepless night probed my heart this week, exposing the faulty way I’m prone to view my struggles: 

• It was in one of the darkest hours of Jacob’s life. He was moving from one hostile environment to another. Yet in that hour, he encountered the Living God in a most personal and faith-changing way. It is in the dark hours of our lives that we, too, can know Him afresh, perhaps discovering an aspect of His character previously foreign to us. In this our faith matures and deepens.
• Despite the challenges looming on the horizon, Jacob didn’t throw in the towel with despair but instead he dug in, persistently wrestling with God until the sun shone again. Like him, in moments when our faith may seem fruitless to overcome our circumstances (or our sin), may we doggedly lay hold of our God in pursuit of knowing Him better, to see our struggles in the Light of day.
• As the sun set that night, Jacob was known for his sin, bearing the name that means “supplanter” — one who seizes that which rightfully belongs to another (Esau’s birthright; Genesis 27:19). Yet at the break of day when Jacob still holds fast, God gives him a new name: Israel. A name which instead heralds the struggle he had with God. The man through which God reckoned His promise — and birthed a nation — is named for his struggle with God and the way he ultimately overcame. Here I find permission to grapple with my questions, frustrations and challenges. If I do so with perseverance — refusal to give up the faith — God will surely grant me victory as He did with Jacob, limiting His power to only that which Jacob could also physically muster.

Though our faith may have dark days and nights, we are never alone. God is with us, perhaps more closely than in our days of ease and comfort. The redemptive value of our struggles lies in the intimacy gained with the Lord, which in turn, is meant to bear fruit in the lives of others. I wonder… did Jacob look differently at the night sky after that? Did the stars become a daily reminder of that night’s struggle, knowing his progeny would outnumber them as a result of his perseverance?

Through our collective ‘wrestling’ may nations of believers be birthed.