Guarded
It was almost comedic. Our outlook biases are so mismatched.
There we sat in her living room. Stacks of paper sequestered neatly in manilla folders, alongside a laptop and coffee mugs. We met to discuss the Bible study we’ve written and our next steps with it. (I’ll tell you more about the study another time, I promise.)
After plotting a loose project map and timeline, our dialog turned to what might come of this study… how God could use it to reach into hearts of women. I wish you could have heard it. Listen in on some clips of our conversation:
- Optimistic J: “God might use this study to change the lives of those who do it.”
- Me: “I hope you’re right.” (Can you hear me taking her optimism down a notch or two… or 10?)
- Optimistic J: “It will be awesome! I’m so excited!”
- Me: “It will be interesting, won’t it?” (The word ‘interesting’ is a socially acceptable way to cast doubt without sounding disparaging. Ahem.)
- Optimistic J: “I think we’ll have a great turnout for our pilot study group.”
- Me: “But the time of year we’ll roll it out is when most folks are ‘done’ for the year.” (Womp, womp.)
My co-author’s heart is beautifully humble and yielded to God’s purposes in her life. None of her comments were meant to presume on God for our earthly success. Rather they were an expression of enthusiasm and confidence that what’s printed on all those sheets of paper is of value. And I very much want all the things she expressed; I hope they all come to pass.
So, why are these my responses?
I think maybe I’m afraid of disappointment… using my pessimism as a tool I use to safeguard my heart from the crushing blows of defeat and discouragement.
[Tweet “Pessimism may protect from disappointment, but also robs joy. #thinkonthesethings #write31days”]
Yep, I think that’s it. Or at least part of it. When I see it there — in black and white — it makes me sad. I rob myself and others of joy in the moment because I’m protecting myself from a possible letdown (because it’s an inevitability in my eyes).
In the future, I’ll try to let myself “go there” with this friend, and others. To embrace the zeal with which they view the world, if only momentarily.
I hope to throw my hands up and enjoy the ride when I do.
This post is part of a 31 day series entitled “Think on these things: Learning optimism.” For a full catalog of all the posts, visit the first page in the series by clicking here.
Yes sometimes we just need to sit back and enjoy the ride. With God everything is possible.
Is it easy for you, Amanda, to do that? Or are you more of a pessimist like me?
Yes sometimes we just need to sit back and enjoy the ride. With God everything is possible.
Is it easy for you, Amanda, to do that? Or are you more of a pessimist like me?
I’m not pessimistic, but as I get older, I’m less likely to give people the benefit of the doubt. My husband is much more trusting of people than I am. I think that comes from our family backgrounds, but he challenges me to look at others in a different way!
So true, Dianna — that counterbalance is helpful, isn’t it?
I’m not pessimistic, but as I get older, I’m less likely to give people the benefit of the doubt. My husband is much more trusting of people than I am. I think that comes from our family backgrounds, but he challenges me to look at others in a different way!
So true, Dianna — that counterbalance is helpful, isn’t it?
I’m not pessimistic, but as I get older, I’m less likely to give people the benefit of the doubt. My husband is much more trusting of people than I am. I think that comes from our family backgrounds, but he challenges me to look at others in a different way!
So true, Dianna — that counterbalance is helpful, isn’t it?
I think I may be a little of a pessimist myself!! And not wanting to set myself up for failure or criticism may be a big part of why…thank you for sharing!!!
I think I may be a little of a pessimist myself!! And not wanting to set myself up for failure or criticism may be a big part of why…thank you for sharing!!!
I think I may be a little of a pessimist myself!! And not wanting to set myself up for failure or criticism may be a big part of why…thank you for sharing!!!
Well, Barbara, I hope we both can grow in this area, then. 🙂
Absolutely, we should try and just sit back to enjoy the ride, although this can be really tough! Thanks for the inspiration!
Hoping you can do that today, then, Chrissy. Thanks for popping by.
Absolutely, we should try and just sit back to enjoy the ride, although this can be really tough! Thanks for the inspiration!
Hoping you can do that today, then, Chrissy. Thanks for popping by.
Absolutely, we should try and just sit back to enjoy the ride, although this can be really tough! Thanks for the inspiration!
Hoping you can do that today, then, Chrissy. Thanks for popping by.
I am the optimist in this conversation. I love that you want to embrace the wild ride with her and others like her in your life. And I would encourage you not to doubt that your level mindedness can be a gift to her too when the roller coaster is plummeting and she’s heading down with it. It happens to us Tiggers often.
Colleen, you’re right that we shouldn’t doubt that. I think it’s actually the Body expressing itself and only in “total” do we accurately reflect God’s perspective. I’m glad for the Tiggers in my life, and the Eeyores.
I am the optimist in this conversation. I love that you want to embrace the wild ride with her and others like her in your life. And I would encourage you not to doubt that your level mindedness can be a gift to her too when the roller coaster is plummeting and she’s heading down with it. It happens to us Tiggers often.
Colleen, you’re right that we shouldn’t doubt that. I think it’s actually the Body expressing itself and only in “total” do we accurately reflect God’s perspective. I’m glad for the Tiggers in my life, and the Eeyores.
I am the optimist in this conversation. I love that you want to embrace the wild ride with her and others like her in your life. And I would encourage you not to doubt that your level mindedness can be a gift to her too when the roller coaster is plummeting and she’s heading down with it. It happens to us Tiggers often.
Colleen, you’re right that we shouldn’t doubt that. I think it’s actually the Body expressing itself and only in “total” do we accurately reflect God’s perspective. I’m glad for the Tiggers in my life, and the Eeyores.
Love your honest look at your words…very important.
Love your honest look at your words…very important.
Love your honest look at your words…very important.
Thanks, Debi!
I can so hear that conversation. As I read, I realized that I can be both optimistic and pessimistic depending on the situation. I’m afraid of disappointment and being let down too!
Tara, do you think you flip based on whom you’re with — to counterbalance them? I know I do that for my middle daughter. 🙂
I can so hear that conversation. As I read, I realized that I can be both optimistic and pessimistic depending on the situation. I’m afraid of disappointment and being let down too!
Tara, do you think you flip based on whom you’re with — to counterbalance them? I know I do that for my middle daughter. 🙂
I can so hear that conversation. As I read, I realized that I can be both optimistic and pessimistic depending on the situation. I’m afraid of disappointment and being let down too!
Tara, do you think you flip based on whom you’re with — to counterbalance them? I know I do that for my middle daughter. 🙂
I can so hear that conversation. As I read, I realized that I can be both optimistic and pessimistic depending on the situation. I’m afraid of disappointment and being let down too!
Tara, do you think you flip based on whom you’re with — to counterbalance them? I know I do that for my middle daughter. 🙂
I can so hear that conversation. As I read, I realized that I can be both optimistic and pessimistic depending on the situation. I’m afraid of disappointment and being let down too!
Tara, do you think you flip based on whom you’re with — to counterbalance them? I know I do that for my middle daughter. 🙂
I love that quote: “Pessimism may protect from disappointment, but also robs joy”. I’ve never really thought about it like that before!
I love that quote: “Pessimism may protect from disappointment, but also robs joy”. I’ve never really thought about it like that before!
I love that quote: “Pessimism may protect from disappointment, but also robs joy”. I’ve never really thought about it like that before!
I love that quote: “Pessimism may protect from disappointment, but also robs joy”. I’ve never really thought about it like that before!
I love that quote: “Pessimism may protect from disappointment, but also robs joy”. I’ve never really thought about it like that before!
Love this so much! Thanks for letting us “in on” the conversation. I actually do the opposite. Aloud I say how incredible it (whatever “it” is) will be. I build up others’ enthusiasm and confidence, I think. Then in private, I kind of fall apart…in doubt…and anxiety. Oh, to remedy this once and for all. Thanks for your transparency!
Love this so much! Thanks for letting us “in on” the conversation. I actually do the opposite. Aloud I say how incredible it (whatever “it” is) will be. I build up others’ enthusiasm and confidence, I think. Then in private, I kind of fall apart…in doubt…and anxiety. Oh, to remedy this once and for all. Thanks for your transparency!
Love this so much! Thanks for letting us “in on” the conversation. I actually do the opposite. Aloud I say how incredible it (whatever “it” is) will be. I build up others’ enthusiasm and confidence, I think. Then in private, I kind of fall apart…in doubt…and anxiety. Oh, to remedy this once and for all. Thanks for your transparency!
Love this so much! Thanks for letting us “in on” the conversation. I actually do the opposite. Aloud I say how incredible it (whatever “it” is) will be. I build up others’ enthusiasm and confidence, I think. Then in private, I kind of fall apart…in doubt…and anxiety. Oh, to remedy this once and for all. Thanks for your transparency!
Cynthia it’s great to hear the opposite perspective. Thanks for raising the contrary though. At least we know WHO our remedy for all this is. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
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