Does God still like me?

He was devastated. I was exasperated.

Sitting on the edge of my son’s bed, I looked into his eyes. He
knew I was upset. Yet another day with multiple food allergy infractions. His inability to control his impulses around food frustrates me for the obedience issues, but even more so because of the adverse impact on his growth due to nutrient malabsorption. We’ve seen God’s redemption and work in these issues, but it is an on-going battle that is likely to plague him for years to come. We’ve talked ad nauseum about the multitude of reasons to eat properly. His mouth drips promises about doing it right as quickly as it devours a package of (mercifully unforbidden) potato chips.

The disappointment and frustration I felt was painfully obvious to him. From the safety of his pillow, he braved my gaze and tenuously inquired,

“Does God still like me?”

All the anger flooded out of my heart instantaneously. Clearly, he’d fallen prey to the fallacy of performance-based faith. No doubt my drilling him to behave differently around food, and my disappointment when he didn’t, was continuously reinforcing this message. I was unintentionally preaching a works-based gospel. The response required of me was immediately evident: God’s Word must be brought to bear.

I told him how much God loves him. Even when we couldn’t do anything to please Him, He still sent Jesus because of that love. Christ bore the nails for us because of our failings.

For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
— Romans 5:6-8 ESV

Paul’s words later in the same book were a perfect illustration of how difficult controlling our sinful behavior is. I consoled him with the same hope Paul recorded:

For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
— Romans 7:18,19 ESV

There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
— Romans 8:1,2 ESV

By the end of our conversation, tears of mercy were streaming down my face. I deplored how poorly I’d represented the Father’s love. I ached to have my son know the fullness of the Gospel, and was pained to know that I was part of the obstacle to that knowledge. I left his room berating myself for not responding to his shortcomings better, hating how I fail to disconnect my frustration from my love for him.

And then, I found my own comfort in the same verses I’d just shared with my son. I poured out my confession before God – recognizing my sin – and then was showered with bountiful grace and the knowledge that He loves me still.

I cannot hope to show this kind of love to my children without understanding and receiving it myself.

For information and resources on living loved,
check out Aphesis Group Ministries at www.aphesisgroup.com
or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/aphesisgroup.