Does God still like me?
He was devastated. I was exasperated.
Sitting on the edge of my son’s bed, I looked into his eyes. He
knew I was upset. Yet another day with multiple food allergy infractions. His inability to control his impulses around food frustrates me for the obedience issues, but even more so because of the adverse impact on his growth due to nutrient malabsorption. We’ve seen God’s redemption and work in these issues, but it is an on-going battle that is likely to plague him for years to come. We’ve talked ad nauseum about the multitude of reasons to eat properly. His mouth drips promises about doing it right as quickly as it devours a package of (mercifully unforbidden) potato chips.
The disappointment and frustration I felt was painfully obvious to him. From the safety of his pillow, he braved my gaze and tenuously inquired,
“Does God still like me?”
All the anger flooded out of my heart instantaneously. Clearly, he’d fallen prey to the fallacy of performance-based faith. No doubt my drilling him to behave differently around food, and my disappointment when he didn’t, was continuously reinforcing this message. I was unintentionally preaching a works-based gospel. The response required of me was immediately evident: God’s Word must be brought to bear.
I told him how much God loves him. Even when we couldn’t do anything to please Him, He still sent Jesus because of that love. Christ bore the nails for us because of our failings.
For while we were still weak, at the right time Christ died for the ungodly. For one will scarcely die for a righteous person—though perhaps for a good person one would dare even to die— but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.
— Romans 5:6-8 ESV
Paul’s words later in the same book were a perfect illustration of how difficult controlling our sinful behavior is. I consoled him with the same hope Paul recorded:
For I know that nothing good dwells in me, that is, in my flesh. For I have the desire to do what is right, but not the ability to carry it out. For I do not do the good I want, but the evil I do not want is what I keep on doing.
— Romans 7:18,19 ESVThere is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus. For the law of the Spirit of life has set you free in Christ Jesus from the law of sin and death.
— Romans 8:1,2 ESV
By the end of our conversation, tears of mercy were streaming down my face. I deplored how poorly I’d represented the Father’s love. I ached to have my son know the fullness of the Gospel, and was pained to know that I was part of the obstacle to that knowledge. I left his room berating myself for not responding to his shortcomings better, hating how I fail to disconnect my frustration from my love for him.
And then, I found my own comfort in the same verses I’d just shared with my son. I poured out my confession before God – recognizing my sin – and then was showered with bountiful grace and the knowledge that He loves me still.
I cannot hope to show this kind of love to my children without understanding and receiving it myself.
For information and resources on living loved,
check out Aphesis Group Ministries at www.aphesisgroup.com
or on Facebook at www.facebook.com/aphesisgroup.
Great stuff Kirsten. Thanks for sharing not only your insights, but being brave enough to be vulnerable. I totally relate to this.
Great stuff Kirsten. Thanks for sharing not only your insights, but being brave enough to be vulnerable. I totally relate to this.
Kirsten – what a tough lesson. Thanks for your transparency in sharing. We’ve all been there in one way or another.
Kirsten – what a tough lesson. Thanks for your transparency in sharing. We’ve all been there in one way or another.
This is beautiful! Thank you for being “real”!
This is beautiful! Thank you for being “real”!
This is beautiful! Thank you for being “real”!
You know, almost-four-years-old Daniel asked me a v. similar question just the other day – he said, “Mummy, do you love me even when I am naughty?”. We spoke about my unconditional love for him and how that is also how God loves us etc. Was a good moment 🙂
You know, almost-four-years-old Daniel asked me a v. similar question just the other day – he said, “Mummy, do you love me even when I am naughty?”. We spoke about my unconditional love for him and how that is also how God loves us etc. Was a good moment 🙂
You know, almost-four-years-old Daniel asked me a v. similar question just the other day – he said, “Mummy, do you love me even when I am naughty?”. We spoke about my unconditional love for him and how that is also how God loves us etc. Was a good moment 🙂
You know, almost-four-years-old Daniel asked me a v. similar question just the other day – he said, “Mummy, do you love me even when I am naughty?”. We spoke about my unconditional love for him and how that is also how God loves us etc. Was a good moment 🙂
You know, almost-four-years-old Daniel asked me a v. similar question just the other day – he said, “Mummy, do you love me even when I am naughty?”. We spoke about my unconditional love for him and how that is also how God loves us etc. Was a good moment 🙂
touching. thank you.
touching. thank you.
touching. thank you.
touching. thank you.
What a sweet insight, Kirsten. Thanks for sharing it with us. Praying for you guys as you navigate the food allergy path.
~SS
What a sweet insight, Kirsten. Thanks for sharing it with us. Praying for you guys as you navigate the food allergy path.
~SS
What a sweet insight, Kirsten. Thanks for sharing it with us. Praying for you guys as you navigate the food allergy path.
~SS
Janet, thank YOU for the encouragement of knowing this was meaningful to you! What would we do without the Body to spur one another on through challenges? Thanks for reading along; I hope I’ll see you here again!
Janet, thank YOU for the encouragement of knowing this was meaningful to you! What would we do without the Body to spur one another on through challenges? Thanks for reading along; I hope I’ll see you here again!
This is so good! Thank you for sharing this as I know so many of us struggle with the same things, especially with our kids. It’s such a good reminder that how we raise our children impacts how they relate to God, and to others. Good for you for being open and teachable when God showed you the error of your way, and for correcting it and repenting. You are such a Godly example; I am so happy to have found your blog!
This is so good! Thank you for sharing this as I know so many of us struggle with the same things, especially with our kids. It’s such a good reminder that how we raise our children impacts how they relate to God, and to others. Good for you for being open and teachable when God showed you the error of your way, and for correcting it and repenting. You are such a Godly example; I am so happy to have found your blog!
This is so good! Thank you for sharing this as I know so many of us struggle with the same things, especially with our kids. It’s such a good reminder that how we raise our children impacts how they relate to God, and to others. Good for you for being open and teachable when God showed you the error of your way, and for correcting it and repenting. You are such a Godly example; I am so happy to have found your blog!
Thanks, Gretchen! It’s all about being teachable, isn’t it? Thanks for walking the road with me.
Thank you, Kirsten for this truely heart tugging insight on Gods patience and incredible love and forgiveness he has for us (me). My daughters are both grown with one married with a one year old son of her own. I am going to share this with her, and maybe she can start motherhood with these great words of wisdom and perhaps avoid some of the issues we’ve dealt with in our own personal lives. Thank you for being so transparent so the rest of us can start forgiving ourselves so God can use us more effectively.
Thank you, Kirsten for this truely heart tugging insight on Gods patience and incredible love and forgiveness he has for us (me). My daughters are both grown with one married with a one year old son of her own. I am going to share this with her, and maybe she can start motherhood with these great words of wisdom and perhaps avoid some of the issues we’ve dealt with in our own personal lives. Thank you for being so transparent so the rest of us can start forgiving ourselves so God can use us more effectively.
Thank you, Kirsten for this truely heart tugging insight on Gods patience and incredible love and forgiveness he has for us (me). My daughters are both grown with one married with a one year old son of her own. I am going to share this with her, and maybe she can start motherhood with these great words of wisdom and perhaps avoid some of the issues we’ve dealt with in our own personal lives. Thank you for being so transparent so the rest of us can start forgiving ourselves so God can use us more effectively.
Janet, thank YOU for the encouragement of knowing this was meaningful to you! What would we do without the Body to spur one another on through challenges? Thanks for reading along; I hope I’ll see you here again!