Faith
Backpacks or burdens: when to ask for (and give) help—and when not to?
For most people I know, asking for help is one of the most difficult things to do. Some of that challenge is particularly American: we were raised on the notion of “rugged individualism.”
Some of it’s also a lack of humility: we don’t like admitting our inability to do something (especially if we believe it is our responsibility).
And sometimes it’s because we’re sensitive to asking for too much from others—perhaps because we ourselves have been presumed upon by someone else in the past.
Conversely, it’s also difficult to know when one should not help, as in the case of enabling something unhealthy for another person or when doing so is to one’s own detriment.
The Bible is replete with verses teaching us to help others. One passage presents what at first seems to be a set of self-contradictory statements:
Read MoreWhen you’re humbled by a lump of clay
I was mortified.
Okay, maybe that’s a little dramatic. But I was genuinely embarrassed and seriously considered leaving (with my tail tucked between my legs).
At the beginning of the year, as part of my annual goal-setting effort, I decided I’d try at least four new things as a way to challenge my brain and get outside my comfort zone. One of the ideas I selected was to take a beginning wheel-throwing pottery class.
The class began last week and during introductions I mentioned that I don’t have art experience of any kind (save for junior high). Most of my eleven fellow students have some art background and many even have experience with ceramics. The situation harkened back to my college photography class in which I was the only student from the business school; my professor couldn’t find anything praiseworthy about my shots so his grading remarks said I had “very precise printing skills.” (And, as you’ll see below, the pottery class is going about as well, so far.)
Read MoreFor when you’re overwhelmed
The last few months have been—in a word—overwhelming.
In general, I’m very diligent about my calendar and not putting too much on it. And yet sometimes it just gets away from me. A few things converged to create this flurry of activity:
- First, a desire to extend and accept invitations to/from new friends in order to build relationships after relocating. It’s been a year since we moved back to Colorado, but cultivating friendships takes time. We’ve tried to make the most of every weekend as an opportunity to create touchpoints with new friends. (Plus, we’ve enjoyed being able to see our family and “old” Boulder friends as often as possible.)
- Second, a series of wonderful family milestones: both of our daughters had graduations that we attended out of town, my in-laws marked their 60th wedding anniversary (amazing!), and we buried a loved one. Plus, there were two personal trips “just for fun” and a couple of houseguests mixed in.
- Third, a big uptick in work travel that sent me across the country in both directions for several consecutive weeks. (I do not know how people travel every week for work… it’s exhausting to me! But I’m eager for a work trip to Boise at the end of the month—I’ll sneak in some Idaho fun while I’m there.)
As you can see, with the exception of burying my uncle, every item on calendar over the last few months has been good. I wouldn’t have wanted to miss out on any of it.
Read MoreFulfilling the purpose of small groups
I have had the joy of participating in multiple study/community/small groups over the course of my 30+ years as a Christian. For the most part, these weekly gatherings have been a regular boon to my life. They encourage me. They sharpen me. They equip me. I look forward to them.
I say “for the most part” because occasionally the dynamics shift and the benefits are lost (or at least reduced) due to human frailties disrupting the fruitfulness.
Read MoreHow to become a spiritual grown-up
It’s been a minute since I sat in my mother or father’s lap.
Heck, it’s been a minute since my kids have sat in my lap. (I sure miss those little people; all of mine are over 21 now!)
What on earth does this have to do with anything?
Fair question. Here’s the answer:
Read MoreServing a better master: trading busy for rest
As a business owner, I wear many hats. (Actually, I wear all the hats because I don’t have employees.) Like all of you who work in the home or out in the marketplace or ministry, that means there’s always a task that needs doing.
Always.
So, we continue “doing.” The alluring idea of getting ahead of our tasks list (or merely caught up), coupled with devices that make work accessible anywhere, anytime, causes us to work incessantly. But “ahead” and “caught up” are mirages that elude us from the distant horizon.
Perhaps you, like me, enjoy (or are addicted to?) productivity and relish in goal-setting sessions and achievement—all of which make resting a challenge. Yet an inability to rest and take breaks from work makes for a life equivalent to that of an indentured servant, subject to the masters of
- materialism,
- a need for success (as a “perfect” parent or star performer at work),
- the reputational currency of being busy, or
- the exacting requirements of our managers and bosses.
But God doesn’t want us to be enslaved to anything but righteousness and His love:
Read MoreHow to talk to each other at Christmas
Mary and Joseph. Joseph and Mary. We talk about them like an old married couple.
As two pivotal “characters” in the story of the Bible, we mention both when we reference either, almost as though they’re a single name or unit—which in some ways they are. But we mustn’t forget that they were two distinct and very real people. And their experiences as the humans who raised Jesus were entirely different from the start.
It shouldn’t surprise us, then, that God revealed His astonishing plan to them individually—and in ways that honored that they needed to hear it differently, too.
Read MoreWhat a little light can do
With the glorious colors of fall also come darker mornings and afternoons. Not having the glow of morning sun to greet us can be difficult for those of us who don’t rise early enough to be greeted by darkness year-round. Even as a morning person (my kids laugh at how early I go to bed!), there’s something defeating about making my way into the kitchen or family room in the dark.
I started using light timers to facilitate an easier entry into my fall and winter days. Though I’d used them for years to automatically turn on lights in the afternoons and evenings, having them click on in the mornings was something new. And I discovered how much I liked feeling the living areas of the house were already “awake” when I entered them.
But there was another—lovely and unexpected—spiritual boon to this electronic tactic I’ve been using…
Read MoreFinishing strong: questions for fall self-reflection
I just can’t help myself.
It must be something about the season: hints of fall and kids returning to school always prompts introspection in me. (Even though my nest is empty, years of my own schooling and those of my kids have me conditioned!) I purposefully use this time of year as my second of two “life check-in” junctures.
I do my annual spiritual inventory, self-reflection and (personal and professional) goal-setting every January. In late August/early September, I check in on those items again, course-correcting for anything that’s gone awry and thinking carefully about how to best use the remainder of the year for God’s glory.
This year the exercise feels especially significant as I’ve relocated to a new state. That transition has, as you might expect, come with a significant amount of change (and a very quiet blog/newsletter—huge “thank you” to my subscribers for their patience!).
Here are the questions I’m asking myself; perhaps they’ll prompt something valuable in you, too, with which to forge ahead into the rest of the calendar year:
- With the growing seasons of spring and summer waning: How have I grown in recent months? What part of my life has God nourished especially (even if it’s different than I anticipated or hoped)?
- Fall is the time when many plants need pruning to weather the winter: What might God be asking me to let go of or cut back on for health and future growth?
- As school resumes for students: What is God teaching me right now about Himself? About myself?
- Fall will eventually give way to cool weather: Who around me needs to be drawn near for the warmth of fellowship? How can I fortify new and existing relationships against difficult seasons that might lie ahead?
When James wrote to the Jewish Christians scattered abroad, he reminded them how important it is to not merely hear the Word but to internalize it and live it out. He used the metaphor of a mirror: that God’s law provides us with a reflection that reveals to us the dirt on our faces (sin). To walk away from the mirror without choosing to wash off the filth (repentance, trusting in Jesus’ sacrifice), is utter foolishness.
For if you listen to the word and don’t obey, it is like glancing at your face in a mirror. You see yourself, walk away, and forget what you look like. But if you look carefully into the perfect law that sets you free, and if you do what it says and don’t forget what you heard, then God will bless you for doing it.
James 1:23–25 NLT
While this seasonal check-in doesn’t address our moral failings (that should happen daily!), the spirit of the exercise is the same: we may have “forgotten what we look like” somewhere along the way, so let’s return to the mirror to see what God is doing in our lives and how we can respond in faith.
What we miss when we read the Bible alone
I’m a sucker for a good story.
I know you are, too. We can’t help it. God hardwired it into our brains. Functional MRIs show how our brains respond to stories (versus information)—more areas of the brain light up and with greater intensity. And even newer research has shown something fascinating: our heartbeats seem to synchronize when we hear a story at the same time, in a shared experience.
How. Cool. Is. That?!
While this is obviously relevant for my work with speakers in crafting their content, I think there’s a treasure here for followers of God, as well.
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