Borrowed Glasses: Finding my inner optimist
“Not working!!!!”
This was the scream I’d hear too often from some remote part of the house. It was the battle cry of my youngest daughter, whenever something wasn’t going her way. A short, but fierce, exclamation.
It originated when she was learning to tie her shoelaces. But it soon began to apply to anything… opening packages of food, art projects (it’s hard when your vision doesn’t play out on paper!), and even interacting with her siblings. At thirteen, it’s now become a family joke, used universally for anything that’s not going as planned. But I assure you: it wasn’t always funny. Quite the contrary.
This little darling of mine always has a reason why she can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, didn’t or isn’t something-ing. Peer relationships, classroom work, athletic performance, sibling interaction, and parental obedience. There have been many (many!) days when I’ve wracked my brain, wondering why it’s so hard to walk her through those moments. And then one day, my husband says this to me:
“I know why God gave you Britta.”
What?
After scratching my head to discern whatever he could possibly mean, he came out with it:
“She forces you to see the positive. You are her optimist.”
He went on to illustrate his point with many examples of times when I’d countered her negative belief with a positive statement. Examples of times I’d been able to show her an alternate viewpoint that held so much more likelihood and optimism. As I listened, I realized he was right. Parenting this sweet child o’ mine—one who sees the world much as I naturally do, too—has forced me to don some rose colored glasses. (They aren’t my glasses; someone must have left them here. But I’m glad they’re lying around for my occasional use.)
Just as I sometimes need the voice of an optimist to show me what I don’t instinctively see, my daughter does, too. Yet I am the person most likely to be present in those moments in her life. Despite my natural tendency, I’m able to occasionally view her world with an optimism that aids her. I think I might have hit on a new tool for my tool box: when I’m feeling despondent about a situation, I will try to ask myself what I’d tell my gal if I were giving her advice. It will force me to look for the best in whatever I’m facing.
Do you find yourself able to “switch hit” like this, too? With whom? Do you think you could use it to your own advantage as well? Let’s give it a shot!
This post is part of a 31 day series entitled “Think on these things: Learning optimism.” For a full catalog of all the posts, visit the first page in the series by clicking here.