When past hurt makes friendship feel scary

Three women sitting on a bench on a dock.

He addressed him as “friend.” “Friend, do what you came to do.” (Matthew 26:50 ESV)  Jesus knew what his friend Judas—one of the close-knit group of disciples—was about to do: betray Him into the hands of His would-be killers. Most of us wouldn’t consider that kind of betrayal a mark of a friend. Yet Jesus still…

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How to build friendships when you can’t see each other—or just don’t see eye to eye

Friendship during COVID has presented an incredible challenge. Recently updated research from Cigna showed that a staggering 61% of people feel lonely. And that loneliness is as detrimental to our health as smoking and other well-known health problems.  And those findings were BEFORE coronavirus. I can’t imagine those statistics have improved in recent months. We…

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Bridging the distance in friendship

The prospect of moving 800 miles away filled me with grief. As an introverted person, anticipating the loss of the friendships I’d built over many years was deeply painful. I feared losing the proximity that wove my life into the fabric of others’. I feared distance would unavoidably change, or even end, those relationships. I…

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What friendship looks like when you’re secure in Christ

He had everything to lose. Everything.  As Saul’s son, Jonathan was the presumed heir to the throne in Israel’s newly-founded monarchy. The title. The throne. The crown. The power and prestige. The responsibility. The joy. All would be his. But that’s not quite the way things worked out. Saul’s heart turned from the Lord, so…

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On the other hand…

“You might be immobilized for five or six weeks,” my doctor said. Ugh.  The possibility of not being able to use of my dominant hand for that length of time struck a chord of fear in this pessimist’s heart.  But my shoulder needed repair so I scheduled it—despite the potential downtime. (I had a similar…

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