$12,000 Attitude Adjustment

A $12,000 royalty check from book sales.

Not my book, mind you. Not my check. This royalty check went to author Patrick Wensink, whose book was an Amazon best seller last year. While a sizable sum, it puts him right at the poverty line for annual earnings, according to the Department of Health and Human Services. He shared the fiscal details of an author’s plight in an article last week. Ironically, the article posted on the same day I met with my tax advisor — the day I confronted my own meager earnings from 2012.

When I later read the article, it served only to spiral me further down into the depths of discouragement. If his earnings were so insubstantial even after time spent at the ‘top’, what chance do I have of contributing to my household income as a writer and speaker? The only thing lower than my book’s Amazon ranking was my spirits: 

That means that there are precisely 1,794,959 books on Amazon that the U.S. thinks are more worthwhile than mine (as evidenced by purchases). I don’t disagree that there are many better books than my own. The hours of labor and prayer that went into it yielded financial results a fraction of Wensink’s.

I wanted to throw in the towel.

Done. Finished. Getting a job where I’d earn minimum wage would be a ginormous raise. Braces went on my daughter’s teeth in January. Driver’s education is just eight months away. We just plotted out four years of high school and have looked up tuition prices for college. Like many of you, we’re staring down a financial picture that isn’t as rosy as we might have hoped.

I began assessing my employment options and measuring their impact on our family and finances (often diametrically opposed). Starbucks. Pottery Barn. Local elementary school. Bookkeeping. Direct sales/home business. These are the venues where many of my fellow mothers have successfully garnered employment with excellent benefits, perks, schedules similar to their children’s or can work remotely. They’re viable options. Good ones. None of them is completely crossed off my list.

But none of them thrill me either. Perhaps work’s purpose isn’t to thrill me. What does thrill me though is God’s Word. Getting a glimpse of His character through Spirit-given understanding of a passage. Seeing God use the circumstances of my life to illuminate the Truth contained in the Bible.

And it thrills me to share it with you. Sometimes you tell me that something I said or wrote helped you or encouraged you… and that just sends me through the roof with joy.

I sat with the proverbial towel in my hand. Ready to throw it ‘in’ and call the whole thing off. But I couldn’t. I can’t. Jesus, who is worthy of all praise and glory, humbled Himself to work that wasn’t celebrated or rewarded by earthly standards, to the job of a lowly household servant. All while His disciples clamored for position.

“… so he got up from the meal, took off his outer clothing, and wrapped a towel around his waist. After that, he poured water into a basin and began to wash his disciples’ feet, drying them with the towel that was wrapped around him.”
— John 13:4,5 NIV

I may end up working at a job that brings me little intrinsic satisfaction but does bring in some dollars. If so, I will (try to) do it as unto the Lord, with all my heart (Colossians 3:23,24). Likewise, I will continue to do the same here, regardless of the earthly recompense, because I have joy in serving Him — and you.

Instead of throwing it in…

I’m taking up my towel.

You might enjoy this video of Michael Card’s song, “The Basin and the Towel.”
Thanks for reading along.