Pollyannaism

PollyannaI didn’t even know this was a thing. Until today.

I started some mental meandering on who the most classic optimist is/was. Pollyanna (from the 1913 novel by Eleanor H. Porter) is the archetype. But I had no idea that there is a whole “principle” bearing this character’s name. Ladies and gentlemen, may I present the Pollyanna Principle (courtesy of the all-knowing Wikipedia):  Read More

Grace Day

It comes every year on May 30th.

My husband’s birthday. I usually plan months in advance, thinking of ways to surprise and bless him, to honor him on the day of his birth. I look forward to celebrating, eager to shower him with affection and anxious for him to unwrap his gifts.

Birthday cake made from favorite candy and toilet paper rolls -- a nod to a marriage-long inside joke.

But he doesn’t share my enthusiasm. For almost as long as we’ve been married, I observe a reluctance to mark the occasion. A cloud-like malaise and general agitation sets in at least a week before his birthday and lingers for days afterwards. It doesn’t seem to correlate specifically with the number of his years; I noted this pattern before he even hit 30.

Instead, it seems to have everything to do with achievement. The passage of another year seems to be an implicit yardstick for how much he has accomplished in his lifetime. Each May 30th measures out not just the number of days and years that have elapsed but rather how much he believes he should have done by now.  Read More

On the Court: Part I

My daughter plays basketball.

That, in and of itself, is a pure wonder to me since I still duck and/or scream when a ball is thrown in my general direction. (Go ahead, mock me.) I take delight in watching her play with her team the same way I reveled in her first steps as a toddler: it thrills me.

Being in the gym during a game is, however, an assault on my senses. It’s crowded. Cracked plastic bleachers force me to constantly shift in my seat. The visual stimulus of a rapidly-moving game keeps my eyes darting up and down the court. But it’s the sound that really overwhelms me.  Read More

Dollars, Pounds and Resolutions

Like many of you, I’ve been reflecting on the last year and setting my sights on the next, waxing philosophical about my life and how I can improve it and myself. Through resolve. Are any of these common new year’s resolutions on your mind?

Weigh less. Exercise more. Eat better.

Work less. Work harder. Achieve more.

Spend less. Pay off debt. Save more.

Some of them are on my list, too. And I love lists. To wrangle the chaos of life into neatly bulletized lineups gives me the perceived control that evades me in reality.
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To Regret or Not To Regret?

It’s gotten under my skin, this quote. Yes, there are positive ways to mean/understand it, but I think it’s too easily skewed.

Never regret anything because at one point in your life it was exactly what you wanted.

(I don’t even know to whom to attribute the quote, so I extend my apologies for not noting it. Whomever you are, I wish I could hear the way you intended it because I think I beg to differ with you. Respectfully, of course.)

My deepest regrets in life are over the very times I did exactly what I wanted instead of what was wise.  Read More